Monday, August 22, 2011

Back to School: Bittersweet

All through the summer, whenever my girls (9 and 10) would get on my nerves, I would repeat this mantra in my head, "I can't wait until school starts, I can't wait until school starts." Now that we're right on the cusp of my babies entering another school year, I feel conflicted. I'm happy for this fresh start, but sad at the loss of another year of innocence.  It's bittersweet.

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I think of when my girls first started school and I was working full-time.  How my oldest still remembers that we had to drop her off in latchkey because we couldn't take the day off.  How all of the other parents were there but us.  I still feel bad about it.  My youngest still doesn't really like school and would much prefer to be homeschooled, but we can't do that right now.  Besides, there's nothing wrong with her school. She just prefers to be with me. (sidenote: awwww)

I am one of those parents that is involved in everything that I can be involved in.. So the beginning of the school year means a lot for me as well.  It's our balancing act.  Making sure that everyone is able to do everything that we need and most of what we want. I can't get the time back that we lost while I was working crazy hours, but at the same time, I can work to make it better.

Here's to another year!

Hoarding Without Substance, Part III *Conclusion*

What I realized in the end, is that nothing will change, nothing will get better, until I make the changes.  I couldn't expect my kids to change, or want to do things in a simpler, more efficient way if I wasn't showing them that way.  While I'm not on the level of people on that show "Hoarders" I realized that my attachment to things... gadgets, clothes, shoes, papers, books, etc. was detrimental to my life.
Slow process, but it's working
The clutter, the mess... it had become the norm in my house and that wasn't a good thing. Even when the house had been thoroughly cleaned, it still looked dirty to me because of the amount of clutter that we still had.  When I would walk into my house, it didn't feel like, Ahhh, home sweet home."  It felt more like, "Aw man, I really need to do something about this." 

I started small, by giving things away to friends.  Not things I didn't like or were junky. I mean things that were nice, but I didn't have any real use for.  I donated lots of other items to the Salvation Army.  I was left with less clutter, but I had a long way to go.

I started to look at things a little differently, and once I did that, I noticed the changes.  I noticed them immediately.  I could look in a room without thinking of how bad it looked or what else I needed to do.  I could invite someone into my home without a super-haul.  I could come home after a long day and actually relax.  These things are important. C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) is so draining. Mentally, financially, physically and emotionally.  It didn't happen overnight, and I still struggle with clutter, but I feel more and more like I'm getting to a happier place.