Hoarding Without Substance, Part III *Conclusion*

What I realized in the end, is that nothing will change, nothing will get better, until I make the changes.  I couldn't expect my kids to change, or want to do things in a simpler, more efficient way if I wasn't showing them that way.  While I'm not on the level of people on that show "Hoarders" I realized that my attachment to things... gadgets, clothes, shoes, papers, books, etc. was detrimental to my life.

Slow process, but it's working

The clutter, the mess... it had become the norm in my house and that wasn't a good thing. Even when the house had been thoroughly cleaned, it still looked dirty to me because of the amount of clutter that we still had.  When I would walk into my house, it didn't feel like, Ahhh, home sweet home."  It felt more like, "Aw man, I really need to do something about this." 

I started small, by giving things away to friends.  Not things I didn't like or were junky. I mean things that were nice, but I didn't have any real use for.  I donated lots of other items to the Salvation Army.  I was left with less clutter, but I had a long way to go.

I started to look at things a little differently, and once I did that, I noticed the changes.  I noticed them immediately.  I could look in a room without thinking of how bad it looked or what else I needed to do.  I could invite someone into my home without a super-haul.  I could come home after a long day and actually relax.  These things are important. C.H.A.O.S. (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) is so draining. Mentally, financially, physically and emotionally.  It didn't happen overnight, and I still struggle with clutter, but I feel more and more like I'm getting to a happier place.

Hoarding Without Substance, Part II

This is what I am in my head. I am wrong.

In my head, I am a Domestic Diva.  I keep a super clean house, so clean that you can eat off of the floor.  I'm always ready to entertain.  I work part-time from home, volunteer with the PTA and my girls' school, cook 5-6 nights a week, give my husband all of the adult time that he wants and needs, and I keep my hair natural and nails done to boot.  I grow my own garden, scrapbook, knit, work-out 4-5 times a week, am debt-free, bake fresh bread, I'm in a book club and so on and so forth.  This is perfection. This is also an alternate universe. :)

In reality... My house is a workable mess...When I entertain, we're doing what amounts to a complete overhaul right up until the minute that company arrives. Then, as the hubby greets guests, I fly upstairs to shower/change and THEN I am ready to entertain. I do work part-time from home, but it's not going as smoothly as it can, because my office is a mess lol! It still has junk in it from the last time we "entertained." It seems to be the catch-all room.  Mornings are a mess, heading out is a mess... because we can't ever find things we need.  I do volunteer with the PTA and their school, but again, it's not always smooth because of our time management.  I'm a caterer who LOVES to cook, but I don't cook every day like I should.  Why? The kitchen has too much clutter and I hate doing dishes. *sigh*  Hubby is patient, but I know he needs more of my attention. I'm so caught up in my day-to-day messes that by the time I'm ready for him, he's knocked out sleep. (Po' thang)  Appearance-wise, I'm ok, I just feel the need to lose some serious weight. I've been working on getting my garden right for the last few years, I have scrapbooking materials everywhere in my house, I can't knit (yet), I still carry debt, I bake bread only out of necessity (too lazy to go to the store lol), my book club memberships are sitting unused and so on and so forth. This is my REAL life.  It sounds even worse when I write it all out lol.

This is more like me in real life. 

All of these things combined make me feel like I am "The Great Pretender."  It's not that I lie to anyone, or try to make everything seem like it's perfect. I don't. But I think I lie to myself.  Pretty lies... but they cover ugly truths.  I traced most of my discord to... clutter. Yes! Clutter. Simple, right? WRONG!  It went much deeper than I thought.

To Be Continued.....

Hoarding Without Substance, Part I

Ah, the elusive packrat... Not to be confused with the all-too common hoodrat!

This is a pack rat

This is a hood rat. With glitter!

The ever helpful Webster.com website defines a pack rat as "a person who collects or hoards especially unneeded items."  If there was an illustration on there, it would have my face next to it! I never realized how much of a pack rat that I was, until I decided to clean up. Literally, just clean up my house.  I had what the lovely Flylady calls CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) realllllly bad.  It's not that my house is jacked up.  I live in a pretty nice suburb, on a street with well manicured lawns.  My house is an average sized colonial.  From the outside looking in, you'd never guess that inside that home was a big damn mess.  Yes, I said it... A big. damn. mess.  

Earlier this year, in keeping with my desire to live a more simple life, I decided to get rid of what I deemed as a "little clutter."  I had no idea what I was getting myself into. None.  I've read so many cleaning and organizing books that I could probably write one myself.  There are certain things I tend to keep neat, such as my office supplies, catering supplies and "toy party" supplies.  Others, like laundry/toys/dishes/paper clutter/books and so on... are all over the house.  I used to joke that I was just not all that domesticated, despite the fact that I'm a WAHM.  But as I started taking an honest look at my life.... I realized that I was right.  That's pretty sad.

To Be Continued.....

JPL - Just Plain Lazy

When I last posted on this blog, I was getting my finances together. It's been almost a year! I did put a lot of it in order, but life just always seems to get in the way. Plus, I was being lazy. That's the real reason. So much has happened in this year and I am determined to document more of my life on my blog.

Teetering on the Edge

 

I wasn't ready to take the extra step, but it was taken for me. I was feeling like a slave to a job I hated and I boss that I disliked. I didn't have as much time for my children or my husband, and I'd lost a lot of my zest for life. Mounting debts to maintain a lifestyle I was sleeping through, unhealthy eating choices and my sedentary lifestyle seemed to consume me. I kept saying to myself...I am better than this! I am better than this! But I couldn't seem to make the leap. Then... I was called down to Human Resources and told that I was being laid off. Part of me panicked, part of me let out a huge sigh of relief. I've decided to take this time to hone my skills as a mom/wife/friend/daughter/sister. So far, so good.